A story about the beauty of Life, Hats and Heaven

“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Romans 5: 1-5

At the age of 9 my life changed forever. My mother started suffering with a mystery illness that the local missionary doctor could not explain. We lived in an isolated missions station called Ukarumpa in the jungle highlands of Papua New Guinea. My parents had served there throughout the 60ʼs with Wycliffe Bible Translators, dedicated to helping the people of this primitive and poor country. They loved the challenges of the work and the adventure of living in the wild, unpredictable culture of this island nation in the South
Pacific. It was home.

But it all changed when the decision was made to return to Australia to seek specialist medical help. It was an anxious season for the Grace family, we said goodbye to life as we knew it in December 1969.  It would be 7 years of uncertainty. 7 years of learning to trust. 7 years of wondering why. 7 years of doctors and specialists. 7 years before an eye doctor sent my mother for an EMI head scan. New technology. She was
experiencing severe pain behind her eyes. This revealed that she had been living with a brain tumor all those years. By then her daily seizures caused painful fits and fainting. But she never complained. I never heard her speak out in anger about her condition. At the age of 14, I remember thinking.. “Whatever my Mother has in her life that keeps her strong and full of joy…. I want it “. Despite her personal ordeal she relentlessly poured her life and faith into others, cooking meals for those who were sick, serving people
and helping out at church. It might sound strange but as a teenager I always loved doing the dishes with her after dinner. It was our time. “Never allow the things that you donʼt understand to rob you of what you do understand”. She used to say to me. “ Keep trusting in the Lord no matter what “.  She encouraged me with my song writing and music and always believed in her family. Our home was rarely void of the warm aromas of baked meals, chicken and vegetable soup and oven fresh cookies. I gave my life to Jesus in those years.

At 17 I stood with my brother and sister and my Dad, praying at my motherʼs bedside in the cancer ward at Prince Alfred Hospital in Sydney. It had been a hard journey to get to this. A myriad of questions and doubts. The fear of saying goodbye. Not knowing if this moment was the last time.  In the weeks leading up to her operation she had gently lead all of the other ladies in the cancer ward to a faith in Jesus. Some of the nurses as well.  She just had a glow in her spirit that she could not contain. She seemed so strong and full of assurance. I loved that about her. It was time to trust God and the skill of the doctors performing her surgery. It was time to just trust.
Miraculously, within 3 weeks she was home. Her bald head bound with surgical bandages. It was a major operation. Her speech and motor skills would be limited and recovery would take many years… but she was home.

Months and months of chemotherapy followed. Weekly trips to the city for check ups and treatment. Progress was slow. She tried all kinds of ways to cover the scars of surgery, conscious of how unattractive she felt she was out in the public. A quality wig back in the 70ʼs was a privilege for only the rich. My parents searched to find one within the limits of their income. But scarfs and hats became a vital part of her wardrobe.

Hats.

Hats are a blessing. They are a garland and crown for self confidence. We wanted Mum to feel beautiful. Because she was. We wanted her to know that when she walked out the door she would be shining as bright as the treasure of her soul. As real as the hope and beauty within.  The wilderness and the war that we had been through as a family was not over.. but we knew that we were on the side of victory. We had witnessed
the miracle of a life living with that peace that surpasses all understanding.  A life of faith, hope and love. The life of my mother.

So we wore hats. Hats of hope. Iʼve been wearing hats ever since.  My hat reminds me of the words my mother spoke into my life when she was sojourning the darkest of times. Her hope was in the amazing assurance we can all have when we know Jesus as our friend and Savior. When we comprehend Godʼs eternal love for us. The forgiveness we have from our sin and the promise of eternity.  I like wearing hats. Warm in the cold…. Shade in the heat. A covering.
In May 1989, a week before I was to start the national “Lead me On“ tour of Australia with Amy Grant and Michael W Smith, Mum went home to be with the Lord. She had been in a coma for quite some time after a stroke.

We were relieved. She was home. The Lord gave us the gift of a beautiful caring mother for 10 years more than we had expected.  I must admit I love movies with a happy ending.  And life…… Well. We all go through seasons of great loss and pain. We give up or we just give. We get bitter or we get better. We live in fear… or we live by faith. My Bible tells me that “perfect love casts out all fear“. And the greatest example in all history of perfect love is the sacrifice Christ made for us on the cross.  Does the longing and pain ever leave you?…. No. It defines you. It brings greater character and conviction to your life. So that you donʼt waste it on yourself. So that it matters. So that you live with the hope that God raised Jesus from the grave. So that you live. Romans 5: 1-5.
The happy ending is living with that hope. The hope and promise of eternity.
Dedicated to Margaret Joyce Grace 20-4-1930 — 10-5-1989
In 1960 my parents moved to Papua New Guinea to serve the Lord.  Because of Mumʼs brain tumor they were never able to return and complete the work they were called there for. So these days I go back every chance I get to reach the people of this nation with the Good News and teach on marriage, relationships and HIV AIDS awareness. For more information on the ministry and our missions trips: PS. Bring your hat!!!

Steve Grace

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